my blog

2010-04-11T20:43:00.002+08:00

YO !
Dear Readers im back once again !
Seem lyk alot ppl have been stalking my blog . ( u know urself )
Well ..
Juz a summary of hows my life .
Currently my 3 weeks holiday is coming to a end .
i enjoyed myself this holiday .
Met some old frens .
Went out wif my new frens .
Had a great time .
Recently went for a CCA meeting .
I brought wz walked ard non-stop ..
I trusted my guts and i was wrong 3 times !
Who say ppl cant get lost in singapore !
Went shopping wif wz after tat .
Bought 2 dices !
Will take photo of it next time .
Talked to him abt alot of things .
First time going out wif him alone .
Haha !
Over the holidays i've become more lazy .
Don feel lyk doing work anymore .
But im very excited abt my CA results !
At the same time im very worried !
Wad if i didnt do well ?
Sighh !
Ytd went out to watch "my rainy days" .
Was late for 30mins .
Feel lyk rewatching .
Its a very touching movie .
When i bought the movies tickets .
The lady was so funny .
She asked : " Are u and ur frens 16 yet ?"
I said ya .
She said . okay .
We will be checking IC b4 u enter .
I was lyk alright .. ?
Doesnt i look lyk im older than 16 ?!
Currently broke .
When i say broke , im REALLY broke .
Gonna strave myself during recess to save up .
Recently attended a few service at Hope Singapore .
Every service i'll learn sth .
Meet some new fens .
One of them is Robin .
Im really glad tat God lead me to him .
Each time going out wif him , i'll learn sth new .
Hes a really very nice guy .
Hes 23 but he look lyk 18 or maybe younger !
HAHA !
I guess looking young is not tat back afterall.
I guess i'll stop here .
Gtg alr .

2010-02-01T21:45:00.002+08:00

Hello .
Im back ?
LOL .
I will ... keep things short .
Gave Rachel a new nickname , Rachy . ^^
Skul's fine .
Got top in class for CSV .
First time top in class seh .
26/30 .
But teacher says its a easy test .
So ..
26/30 is not good enuf .
Saded .
LOL .
Finally got an A for my OSA .
88/100 .
But still .
Not good enuf as there are many ppl who score 90 and above .
To me .
Im not trying to be proud or wad .
But an A is not good enuf .
Must get 90 and above .
Then ur A is safe .
If not ur A might be a B anytime .
Feeling kinda scared now .
Scared tat my actions gives my classmates a wrong impression .
Im not trying to show off or wad .
But juz ..
I learn my lessons after slping for 16years .
I juz wana start new .
Start Fresh .
Many ppl did not know .
My beloved grandma who has been my side since the day i was born .
Passed away last yr .
June .
Wif a dying wish of seeing me succeed in my studies .
Tats why im giving myself so much pressure and stress .
Cos i always believe .
When humans are forced over their limit , thats how they improve .

2010-01-24T20:30:00.002+08:00

Hello ?
Im back once again .
Wif many diff kind of feelings .
Currently studying in Simei ITE .
The course im studying in is Service Skills Office .
Met some new frens , they are Gary , Rachel , Han Qin , Jacqueline .
Went out wif them to bugis today .
To study for the test next tue .
Day by day .
Starting to learn the past of my new frens .
Some sad , some happy .
But everytime they share something ,It lets me understand them more at the same time i can learn from them sth which i may not or will not experience in life .

2009-12-06T19:23:00.001+08:00

Cant meet u again ..
I wonder whose fault isit ..
Mine ? Urs ?
Im getting tired already ..
When will u understand how i feel ..

2009-10-08T23:23:00.000+08:00

An advise waynn gave me which i find it very useful .
Thanks waynn .
Lost , everyone will feel a sense of lost at times . Whether you are able to find the path is your will power .
Goals and Dreams is something someone wants themselves you can't ask people , "eh what are my goals ? what are my dream? you know or not ah" no one can find your goal and dreams . Its something inside you that you really want .
Whether you can achieve a not is not the problem . The problem is that you have control what you have inside of you .
And not let whats inside of you control you .
Jobs you don't have to think about it too much now .
Wait till you're older than say .
Everyone will not know what they want in life . It takes time to realise what is there in life . Each time you realise , you will know what is there to do . what is there not to do .

2009-10-01T21:12:00.001+08:00

Juz came back home from nite class ..
Currently feeling tired . bored . sian . emo . helpless .
N levels in 4days ..

2009-09-28T18:07:00.002+08:00

Currently not in the mood to blog ..
But didnt wan my blog to die again ..
So i shall juz type the main points ..
Today went skul is boring ~
@#$%^& Wanted to break up wif his gf ..
I tried my best to stop but now its all up to him ..
Came home n agured wif sister ..
$%^ $@%^ went smoking again ..
Feeling emo , worried , scared , bored now .
Smsing Wai sin .
Playing RC ..
Going start to study history tonite ..
Hopefully can finish everything.
Linked afew frens .
N Levels are next week ..
Im still not prepared yet .
*Note : By not typing out the names is to protect my frens' best interest
**I miss you , wan know who ?
Tats for me to know n u to guess ^^

2009-09-22T16:25:00.003+08:00

Feeling slpy now ..
Don feel lyk im a human ..
More lyk a zombie ..
Seem , hear , saw alot things recently ..
Yet i can do nth abt it ..
N lvs coming in 2 weeks ..
IDK wad am i doing ..
How i wish u could change for me ..
Change to be more caring ..
Change to try to understand me more ..
Maybe im asking too much ..
But if u think im not good enuf ..
Tell me where u wan me to change ..
I rmb i told u to change last time ..
U said ..
Takes time ..
lets hope we will last till then ..

2009-09-16T14:57:00.003+08:00

Im back ~
I think i juz give a summary of wad happened recently ..
I did badly for prelims ..
3pass 3 fail ..
Sigh ..
N lvs in 3 weeks .
I hereby wana tell EVERYONE:I DON SMOKE OK ! I ONLY TRIED ONCE !
Tat time was cos im curious .
Believe anot up to u guys .
Afterall , its all about how much u trust me in ur heart .
Don believe ?
Its Ur problem .
Don come say in my face , eh jon u smoke ah ?
Eh jon u still smoking ah ?
All these crap .
If u don trust my words .
Its ur problem
Cos i know tat at least Jr , Ally ,Kt , Sharlene , Hiroki kor will trust wad i say .
^^
Currently eating chicken rice tat i bought from elias mall .
Feeling very slpy but had to go nite class ltr juz cos mr alvin is coming .
Sian ..
Ally is not online ..
Dono why feel so moody this few days ..
Sigh ..

2009-08-06T22:13:00.002+08:00

Haiish .
U ask me to stay at ur house on sat .
To remember our past for one last time .
After tat .
U wana start afresh .
Lyk we nvr met b4 .
I know its all my fault for hurting u so deeply last time .
Maybe now its ur turn to hurt me back bah .
Did u know tat starting afresh , it will hurt me ?
Asking me to act lyk nth happen between us b4 .
Sort of lyk a last farwell uh ?
Haiish .
No matter wad i say now its useless .
If by hurting me can make u forget the past .
By all means bah .
Im ready .
Ytd saw xh go bryan house ..
I saw them so happy tgt .
I felt guilty .
I regret steading wif her .
Maybe the pain i cause her is xtra .
I hurt 2 ppl ..
Maybe i don fit to be in a relationship bah .
Maybe im not a Good bf .
I dono how to takecare ppl .
Haiix .
Wendy seem to be avoiding my qn of wad kind of cig she is smoking ..
Haiish .

2009-08-04T20:08:00.002+08:00

Today got a stupid surprised mock test -.-
From 1pm to 2.3opm
Waste 1hour of my time . -.-
Then went for phy tutorial from 2.45 to 3.45 (guai rite ? ^^ )
As Kai ling , hamizah , sadiq n me was walking to the bus stop , Kai ling bus came .
She run as fast as i could , while hiroki kor was on the line .
I went up to pull kai ling's bag hoping tat she will miss her bus .
But she got on the bus cos the bus driver waited for her . -.-
But afterall its fun . ^^
Not really emo today .
I guess tats good news ?
I make sure Kt eat her meals if not i go smoke .
But if i wan smoke .
I think maybe ...
Ally ? Jun Rong ? Can stop me .
But Hiroki kor cfm can .
Don ask why .
LOL .
Hmm ..
Still got wad happen ah ?
Got STM now .
Cant remember anything .
LOL .
Ate porriage for dinner ?
Found UVERworld MV ^^
Find the vocialist(takuya) very shuai .
Hope can be lyk him someday .
LOL .
Maybe its only a dream .
But afterall .
Dreams keep people alive . ^^
Jr Ask me out to buy Pei Shan's bday present .
Kinda broke .
N not free .
Sry pei shan .
Im seriously broke .
LOL .
Currently listening to Colours Of The Heart by UVERworld .
Dono why suddenly lyk UVERworld ?
But i also lyk big bang .
LOL .
Hmm .
I think tat shld be all le bah .
LOL !
OO YA !
Jr is quitting smoking .
His dad lyk give up hope on him le sia .
Haiish .
Im worried for him .
But at least he knows tat he still got US ! ^^
Monday going lw house gamble .
But im broke . -.-
Sian .
Everyday also must think wad to eat for the next meal .
Kinda miss my grandma .
Everyday come home got food to eat liao .
No need go brainstorm .
-Sigh-

2009-07-29T22:03:00.002+08:00

Haiix .
U said u donwan to meet me anymore .
It hurt so bad .
But i cant blame u .
I was the one tat hurt u at the first place .
I know i said alot times sry .
But i also know its not going to help .
At the rate our Frenship is going ..
I think its only a matter on time we are going to lose contact .
How i wish ..
U can find a new stead .
N forget abt me .
Maybe u wont feel so hurt anymore .
Leaving me to feel hurt alone .
U smoke .
But u don let me smoke .
Do u know how emo n stress i am ?
I cried cos of u .
IDK how to destress !
Each time im only surpressing my feelings to stop myself from emoing ..
Now talk abt studies .
2weeks to prelims .
Abt 46days to n lv ..
I think .
Im scared .
Isit really possible to make it to sec 5 ?
Wad if even ITE also donwan me ?
Haiish .
I dono whether i wana step into a relationship anot .
I Feel tat im not mature enuf .
I Feel tat i dono how to love my gf .
Haiish .
Now feeling abit emo .
Cos i dono how to help Jr n His fren .
Feel so useless .
Haiish .
After heard wad my cousin said .
I feel motivate to work hard towards my dreams .
To learn singing .
Dance .
N many more .
Lets work hard tgt bah !
Hope ur lawyer dreams will come dreams .
Be the 3rd Lawyer in the family tree .

2009-07-26T17:09:00.002+08:00

Today we are celebrating my sister's bday , cos my mum came back wif the cake too late ytd so my baobei sister is aslp .
Actully we wanted to light the candles but suddenly but my grandpa say cannot .
Cos my grandma juz passed away ..
It spoilts everyone's mood at tat moment ..
But the Cake was cutted ..
It was left on the table cos no one got the mood to eat it ..
Recently i found a new song from bleach .
Its name D-Tecnolife by UVERworld .

Here are the lyrics ,
ienai itami kanashimi de kizu tsuita kimi yo
kesenai kako mo seoi atte ikou ikiru koto wo nage dasanai de
(Injured with pain and sadness, the you that cannot be healed
Shoulder the burden of the past that cannot be erased; don't throw away your will to live)

tsunaida kimi no te wo
(Your hand that I held...)

itsuka ushinatte shimau no kana
usurete iku egao to kimi wo mamoritai kara
hibiku boku wo yobu koe sae kare
toki ni sou kaze ni kaki kesaretatte
kimi wo mitsuke dasu
(Will we lose it someday?
I want to protect you and that disappearing smile
The ringing voice that calls me dries out
Even if it gets erased by the wind along time
I will find you)

ienai itami kanashimi de kizu tsuita kimi
mou waraenai nante hito girai nante kotoba sou iwanai de
mienai mirai ni okoru koto subete ni imi ga aru kara
ima wa sono mama de ii kitto kizukeru toki ga kuru daro
(Injured with pain and sadness, the you that cannot be healed
Don't say words like you can't smile or you hate people
Everything that happens in the unseen future has a meaning
So stay like this, there'll come a time when you will realize)

sabikitta hito no you ni
(Like a rusted person)

kasanari au dake ga munashikute
hitori de ikite ikerutte itta
arifureta yasashisa kotobajya
ima wa mou todokanai hodo ni kimi wa uzukidasu
(It felt so hollow to just pile atop one another
You said you could live on your own
Just with the usual kind words
You ache to a point where I cannot reach you)

tsunai da kimi no te wa nanigenai yasashisa wo motome
Do you remember
itami wo shiru koto de hito ni yasashiku nareru kara
Drive your Life
(Your hand that I held searched for some simple kindness
Do you remember
By learning pain, you can become a person who can be kind to others
Drive your Life)

ienai itami kanashimi de kizu tsuita kimi
mou waraenai nante hito girai nante kotoba sou iwanai de
mienai mirai ni okoru koto subete ni imi ga aru kara
ima wa sono mama de ii kitto kizukeru toki ga kuru daro
(Injured with pain and sadness, the you that cannot be healed
Don't say words like you can't smile or you hate people
Everything that happens in the unseen future has a meaning
So stay like this, there'll come a time when you will realize)

How can I see the meaning of life
kieteku you're the only. . .
(How can I see the meaning of life
Disappearing, you're the only. . .)

kowarenai you ni to hanarete iku kimi
mou waraenai nante hito girai nante kotoba sou iwanai de
ima wa by and by mie nakuttatte subete ni imi ga aru kara
kesenai kako mo seoi attekou ikiru koto wo nagedasanai de
(So you will not break, you distance yourself from me
Don't say words like you can't smile or you hate people
Now it's by and by, even if you cannot see, there's a meaning to everything
Shoulder the burden of the past that cannot be erased; don't throw away your will to live)

You'd better forget everything. Remember. . . your different Life?
You'd better forget everything. Remember. . . modoranai kedo
(You'd better forget everything. Remember. . . your different Life?
You'd better forget everything. Remember. . . though, we cannot return)

hizunda kioku no you na toki no naka de itsuka wakari aeru kara
(Like in times of warped memories, we can understand someday)

Hope everyone enjoys it ..

2009-07-23T14:36:00.003+08:00

Currently in a bad mood .
Haven had homecook food for a long time .
Today my grandpa cook one of my fav slice fish been hoon .
Came home wif a good mood .
But sister go spoilt it .
Came out of bathing n she throw her slippers at me .
WTF .
Super angry now .
Spoilted my mood for lunch .
Will come back n edit more ltr .

2009-07-22T18:10:00.002+08:00

Today was abit bored .
Nth much to blog abt .
Had O lv chinese Listening compre .
Felt guilty for causing jr some trouble .
Got bored n went to ask around whether do they smoke .
LOL !
Or wad if i smoke n wad would they do .
LOL !

2009-07-19T21:30:00.002+08:00

Im back .
This morning juz went to burn my grandma's body ..
I nvr cry .
Zai rite ?
Joking .
LOL .
Haiish .
Really miss her .
Feel lyk crying .
But didnt know how .
Haiish .
I really wana thank jr .
He was wif me this few days .
N alot tohers tat care abt me .
Special thanks to marc , kai ling n hamizah for not going hei sushi n wait for me to go tgt .
Lol .
I miss ally .
Wonder where she went .
Nvr reply my smses .
Recently started to talk to kai theng .
LOL !
I guess tats abt all .
Juz lost a person tat was wif me 16yrs .
The moment i came into this world she was by myside .
Haiish .

2009-07-15T14:18:00.003+08:00

Today something really spoilt my mood .
Dono wads wrong brenda .
Lyk got pms sia .
I also nvr offend u .
I treat u as fren but u treat me lyk this .
Jolyn another one .
I only ask if bf can don come n change venue
U say until lyk i change the whole plan .
I saw wad brenda write on msn .
N i know u are talking abt me .
I finally know who are my true frens .
I trust u .
I lend u money .
I pei u go shopping .
Tats how u treat me ?
I finally learn my lesson .
If they can betray u once .
They can do it again .
Why ! Why !
Why must frens betray me again n again when i trusted u guys so much !
-Edited-
Heard the news abt my grandma might not live .
Feeling very confused .
Pray for her to pass away to lessen her pain ,
Or
Pray for her to live ?

2009-07-14T16:09:00.002+08:00

Today dono wads wrong wif u .
U sound so fierce to me .
U promised to work hard wif me .
But u keep skipping skul .
How to finish the last battle wif me ?
I got back something i lost for a long time .
N tats a 4yrs frenship .
Forget wad i wana blog , will come back ltr to edit . LOL

2009-07-11T14:30:00.002+08:00

I dono would u still come to my blog n read ..
U said wadeva i said was all bullshit ..
Do u know tat really hurts me ..
I really wana meet u ..
But cant blame u ..
It was all my fault ..
If i haven break promises again n again ..
U also wont feel so hurt ..
Seem lyk u are quite close to ur new **** ..
Maybe he will replace me in ur heart bah ..

2009-07-06T14:14:00.002+08:00

Went to Tricia's blog. Was being tagged for quiz. Since im so bored ! I guess i will do it ?

1.Real Name : Jonathan.

2. Nickname(s) : In the real world , emoboii , In game , LuvCastMeout .

3. Star signs : Capricorn .

4. Male or female : Male .

5. Primary School : Elias Park Primary School .

6. Secondary School : Loyang Secondary School .

7. JC/Poly : -

8. Hair Colour : black?

9. Long or Short : In between .

10. Loud or quiet : Depends.

11. Sweats or Jeans : Depends.

12. Phone or Camera : Phone.

13. Health freak : ?

14. Drink or smoke : Tried once .

15. Do you have a crush on someone? Nope.

16. Eat or Drink : Both .

17. Piercings : None.

18. Tattoos : None.

HAVE YOU EVER?

19. In an airplane : Yes.

20. Been in a relationship : U bet !

21. Been in a car accident : Nope.

22. Been in a fist fight : fist fight uh ? Don think so ..

23. First piercing : Nope.

24. First best friend : Junrong ? ally ?

25. First award : Forgotten.

26. First crush : Vanessa .

27. First vacation : Forgotten.

LASTS :

28. Last person you talked to : Tricia .

29. Last person you texted : Ally .

30. Last person you watched a movie with : Cant Remember .

31. Last food you ate : Fried food .

32. Last movie you watched : Knowing ?

33. Last song you listened to : Big bang's Gara Gara GO !

34. Last thing you brought : Forgotten.

35. Last person you hugged : Nobody?

FAVOURITES :

36. Food : Sweet stuffs.

37. Drinks : Almost everything .

38. Clothing : Depends.

39. Books : I don read books ..

40. Song : Big bang's songs :D

41. Flower : Not my type ..

42. Colours : Black n White ?

43. Movies : Twilight / Harry Potter.

44. Phrase : A lot ehs...

45. Subjects : Bio , History , English , POA .

In 2008 ,

[x] means yes .

46. [ ] Kissed in the snow

47. [ ] Celebrated Halloween

48. [x] Had your heart broken

49. [?] When over the minutes in cell phone

50. [?] Someone questioned your sexual orientation

51. [ ] Came out of the closet

52. [ ] Gotten pregnant

53. [ ] Had an abortion

54. [?] Done something you've regretted

55. [x] Broke a promise

56. [x] Hid a secret

57. [x] Pretended to be happy

58. [ ] Met someone who changed your life

59. [ ] Pretended to be sick

60. [ ] Left the country

61. [ ] Tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it

62. [x] Cried over silliest things

63. [?] Run a mile

64. [ ] When to the beach with your best friend(s)

65. [ ] Stay single the whole year

CURRENTLY:

66. Eating : Nothing .

67. Drinking : Nothing .

66. I'm about to : Start Emoing .

67. Listening to : Big bang's She Can't Get Enough .

68. Plans for tomorrow : Don't know yet.

69. Waiting for : The right gurl .

YOUR FUTURE

70. Want kids : Of course !

71. Want to get married : Duh ?

73. Careers in mind : A lot .

WHICH IS BETTER WITH GURL

74. Lips or eyes : Both ? .

75. Shorter or Taller : Shorter .

76. Romantic or Spontaneous : Romantic ? I guess ?

77. Nice stomach or Nice arms : Stomach .

78. Sensitive or Loud : None .

79. Hook-up or Relationship : Huh ?

80. Trouble maker or Hesitant : None .

HAVE YOU EVER ?

81. Lost glasses/contacts : Nope.

82. Ran away from home : Nope.

83. Hold a gun/knife for self-defense : Nope.

84. Killed somebody : Nope.

85. Broken someone's heart : Yea .

86. Been arrested : Nope.

87. Cried when someone died : Im a human . Of course i will feel sad . -.-

DO YOU BELIEVE IN :

88. Yourself : Sometimes .

89. Miracles : Sometimes ?

90. Love at first sight : Maybe ?

91. Heaven : Yup .

92. Santa Claus : Nope .

93. Sex on the first date : Not going to tell u !

94. Kiss on the first date : Tats for me to know n for u to guess .

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY :

95. Is there one person you want to be with right now? No .

96. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? No .

97. Do you believe in god? Yeah.

NOW TAG 10 PEOPLE TO DO THIS(Order does not matter how important u are in my heart) :

1. Jun Rong

2. Jason ?

3. Waynn

4. Sheda

5. Vanessa

6. Ally

7. LBS shushu ?

8. -

9. -

10. -

--

1. Wad is your full name? Lam Zi Teng Jonathan .

2. Currently staying in what school? Loyang Secondary School .

3. What is your age? 16 .

4. How many siblings do you have? 1 .

5. What is your currently mood? Sian & Emo .

6. Enjoy your june holidays? okay uhs .

7. Jun Rong or Ally? Jun Rong .

8. Which season do you like the most? Winter.

9. Where do you live at? Singapore.

10. Ally or Jun Rong ? Ally .

11. Which channel do you like the most? Don't know.

12. What do you like to do when you are free? Playing computer , listen to emo songs .

13. Who is your crush? No one.

14. Friendship or Love? Both .

15. Coffee or Tea? Don't know .

16. Favourite car brand? No idea.

17. Who do you trust in your class? NONE !

18. What are the colours of the rainbow? Are u an idiot ? Such a simple qn u also must ask .

19. Like your parents? Sort of ..

20. Have maid at home? Nope .

Replace question 7 and 10 with your friends name.

2009-07-06T13:51:00.004+08:00

Its been awhile since i blogged .
Nth much to update abt .
Erm maybe ..
Tricia become my mei ?
LOL !
Erm ..
Quite happy this few days .
Cos ally says she is going to buy me the limit edition album tat i always wanted as a bday+x'mas present .
Hope they still have stock :x
Trying to make ally n her bf break up .
Don really lyk her bf .
He is a total jerk !
Idiot ?
Bastard ?
Asshole ?
Mother fucker .
:x
He is NOT worthy to be wif ally .
-Jon Do NOT Wish To Step Into A Relationship Now-

2009-07-01T22:46:00.002+08:00

I juz took a facebook quiz .
The tittle of the quiz is : wad are u hiding from pplz .
The result i get is emotions .
Which is true .
It says : You tend to laugh and joke around when you are with everyone, but you feel lonely and empty when are all alone. you cry alone when you have stress and problems. you often have many problems that are bugging you, but you never show them out on your face. you are not as cheerful as they thought, but you just don't wish to spoilt the mood of everyone, hence you hide your emotions inside. you are just a weak human with feelings afterall ..
Wonder how many ppl understand n know this is my true form ..

2009-06-27T06:33:00.002+08:00

-If u understand wad im saying here , means u are the one tat im talking abt-
To say the truth ..
I cant forget wad u said to me .
U told me to treat tat we nvr met b4 ..
Even we met on streets ..
Act lyk we dono each other ..
I still remember something wendy said ..
Everything is the same , but the feeling its not the same .
I feel lyk ..
Its quite true ..
The ppl is the same ..
But the feelings is not ..
U are putting words into my mouth ..
I nvr said i wanted to leave u ..
U said i gave u hurting .
Yes i did .
But its all in the past already .
U said it was more then once .
U ask me go think .
I really cannot think wad i done .
Why don u juz tell me st8 in the face .
Since its so hurting for u .
Why still keep the promise tat u will be by my side forever .
U said .
Im ur only fren left .
Without me , ur life will be worest .
Why did u start smoking again .
U told me its not good for health .
Ask me don folo .
U know it urself .
Then why for start again .
Im really confused now .
To leave or stay wif u .
Its been awhile since we met ..
Alot things has changed , including us .

2009-06-26T00:58:00.001+08:00

Now i feel very happy .
Cos my sister juz said something to me .
Which makes me feel very touched .
She said : she say she know i dream to be a singer , it would be great to have a famous brother BUT its okay to have a normal bro too . she say . if i try . i must not regret . cos im the one who choose to try it . she say . if one day i have tat chance . i must go try . cos not everyone is lucky enuf to get even a chance . she say she will be supporting me no matter wad i do .
First time im so happy .
LOL

2009-06-25T07:25:00.002+08:00

Didnt slp well last nite .
Firstly .
Cos alot things was on my mind .
Secondly .
Its cos my fan broke down . -.-
Ytd got so emo tat i smsed Jr .
Me-Jr:Haix . Jr . I very emo now . I really regret eating so much last time . How i wish i can have taeyang's body , daesung's charming smile , as cute as GDragon , As handsome as TOP , rap as good as TOP n GDragon , dance as well as taeyang .. Jr please tell me .. Is this a dream tat will vnr come true ? Haiix .. i lost wendy .. im losing my kor .. am o really fated to be alone ? Isit wrong to have a dream tat will vnr come true .. Jr .. N lv are so near .. did i wake up too late ? Has my fate been sealed .. Isit True tat humans can nvr win fate ?Isit True tat if u are lack of talent , juz work twice as hard n will sucess ? Or isit no talent means no talent , no matter how hard i work also no use ? can u please ans me .. Please ?
Jr-Me:Im wrong . Talent is something tat i need to uncover myself . im so scared of doing things , i everytime think of wad impression i give ppl . impression has made me a ah gua to do anything . who cares abt wad ppl think of me . they also not my parents . Im a ah gua tat scared to do anything cos i think too much wad impression i give ppl . Sometimes he feel lyk whacking me . How ppl discover they got talent ? cos they go try things then they know whether they are talented in tat area .
Haiish .
Then recently i agure wif my kor abt meeting each other .
He said something which is quite hurting to me .
He said , since for the past one yr , each time he ask me out , i reject , why dont we treat it as we nvr met b4 , even next time on street , saw each other , treat it as nth happen .
Haiish .
Wad he say reminds me of a song .
Big Bang's HaruHaru .
There is a part saying tat .
It would have hurt less if we didnt meet at all , hope u will bury our promise of being together forever baby .
Haiish .
Somehow ..
My mind is in a blank .
LOL .
Nvm ..
I shall go .. find some stuff to do ..

2009-06-24T19:34:00.003+08:00

Haiish .
Nth much to blog .
My life is juz tat boring .
Juz finish watching digimon season 4 .
Alyssa broke up wif her bf , but patched back again .
Kor said he got nth to talk to me .
Going to lose contact wif wendy .
I got 4 true frens .
But losing 2 soon .
Leaving me wif 2 .
Im waiting for the day when lonelyness takeover my heart once again .
Its only a matter of time .
I guess there isnt any readers .
Maybe only Alyssa n Jr .

2009-06-18T18:54:00.002+08:00

1.Think back 5 months ago , are you single ?
- Attached.
2.Who can you blame for your bad mood today ?
-I'm not in one.
3.How was your night last night?
-Bad .
4.How do you feel right now?
-Bored & Emo .
5.Who were the first 2 person you heard this morning?
- Mum and Sister .
6.What are you listening to?
- NEWS .
7.Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
- Nope.
8. Last thing you bought?
- I don rememver ,
9.Are you a jealous person?
-Can't say so.
10.Does it take a lot to make you cry?
- Yes.
11. What are(were) you doing 12:30 this afternoon
- Playing Computer .
12.Think alot before you sleep?
-How did u know tat . F3 .
13.What's running through your mind right now?
-Can i learn wad im studying when im emoing .
14.Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
-Ally
15.Do you like to cuddle or snuggle?
-Snuggle
16. Is there anybody you wish you could be spending time with right now?
-Yea .
17.Do you wish someone would call or text you right now?
-No.
18.Is your life anything like it was a year ago?
-Nope, alot of stuff changed.
19.How late did you stay up last night?
-3am i think .
20.You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life, what is it.
-Plain water?
21.Have you lost contact with someone you wish you didn't wish to lose?
-Nope.
22.Who are your favourite people to talk to when you're down?
-Jun Rong , Ally , Jason . Wendy , maybe .
23.Does anyone call you baby?
-Yes .
24.Are you a patient person?
-I guess so .
25.What is the last thing you said out loud?
-I don remember .
26.Any plans for tomorrow?
-Emo .
27.What can't you wait for?
-To make my Dreams come true .
28.Would you go out in public looking like you do right now?
-Hell no.
29.What's the worst way to say 'iloveyou'
-o.o i dono .
30.Seven weeks from now, relationship?
-Don't know.
31.What do you carry with you at all times?
-Handphone .
32.Are you mean?
-No . -.-
33.What holiday is your birthday closest to?
-New Yr .
34.What's the last thing you searched on google?
-I don search anything on google .
35.Tag 5 people to do this quiz .
-o.o i don think i have 5 true frens tat have a blog .

2009-05-30T11:41:00.006+08:00

Ytd nite played mahjong ..
Lost 25 bucks ..
Haiish ..
Found out tat kissed again ..
I guess this time is not a game anymore rite ..
Haiis ..
Have i forgotten over her .. ?
Haiish ..
Now im lost in directions ..
Who can guide me ..
Who can show me the way to walk ..
Here Are some of my fav songs ..
Hope all readers will enjoy it ..
OR..
Are there even any readers ?
o.o

2009-05-25T21:07:00.002+08:00

Im back .
To the land of my feelings .
Today i met xh by accident ..
I got a shock .
Didnt know wad to do .
We are only 1 arm's length away ..
In the end we both said hi at the same time .
I don understand wad am i feeling tat moment .
Do i hate her ?
Or angry at her ?
Or my heart is dead ..
No longer can feel anything .. ?
Haiish ..
I no longer dare to share my emotions wif my frens ..
Im scared tat they might think tat im juz a attention seeker..
Haiish ..
To Bryan n Xh ..
Here is a song from me to u .

Hope u guys will enjoy ..
If u ever drop by my blog ..

2009-05-20T22:20:00.003+08:00

Haiish .
I heard the news tat i almost got all U grades for my studies ..
I got very shock ..
Have i been slping too long .. ?
Too long till tat i dono wads happening around me .. ?
I know its time for me to wake up ..
But how .. ?
Haiish .
Almost everyone near me got a stead ..
Wad abt me ..
Haiish .
Has love blinded me ?
Haiish .
I hate to be a teenage ..
My body is not lyk a kid .. nor an adult ..
Haiish ..
Isit too late for me to wake up now .. ?

2009-05-17T18:07:00.003+08:00

Haiish .
I have been thinking this few days ..
Im wondering why ..
Am i so fat ..
So ugly ..
No gurls wan ..
Wads My point of living ..
-sigh-
Special thanks to jr for intro this korean song to me .
Hope everyone will enjoy .

2009-05-15T23:33:00.003+08:00

-To the person i let down-
I heard tat u got a new bf ..
As i read ur bf's blog ..
I saw tat he kissed u ..
I didnt know why ..
But my heart juz hurt ..
My eyes are watery ..
Been tgt for only 1week n 1day ..
Is our 29days fake ?
When we was tgt ..
I tried all kinds of way to hold ur hand ..
But mostly u didnt allow ..
But only 8 days ..
U let him kiss u .. ?
Isit cos u love him more then me ..?
Or isit our 29days cannot be compare wif tat 8days ..
Maybe ..
He can give u the happiness i cant ..
I know saying wad now is pointless ..
But i still wana say sry to u ..
Maybe its MY mistake to start this relationship ..
Causing 3 of us to get hurt ..
Haiish ..
I thought i got over u n forgotten abt u ..
Have i .. ?
But all i can say now its ..
I wish u 2 happiness deep from my heart ..
Truely ..
-sigh-

2009-04-25T19:13:00.002+08:00

Haiix .
I had enuf of life !
I cant wads the point of living !
Today my sister n my grandma went out to buy a washing machine without telling until 5 plus then they cant back .
When they cant back they told me they didnt buy anything for me to eat .
I was very pissed off .
I was lyk u go out until so late then come back then tell me there is nth to eat. why didnt u give me a call if u are not buying anything home .
Soon dinner time came .
My grandma came to say sry .
I told her .
Wads the point of saying sry now ?
Its not the point of saying sry or not .
I told her tat .
U shld know my char .
I said donwan eat means donwan eat .
No one can change it .
I think throught le .
Wads call home ?
Isit only a place for me to slp ?
Wads family ?
Isit pplz who juz care for u abit more then frens ?
Wads love ?
I tried to believe in love .
I surpress emo and harted in my heart .
But again n again the pplz who i believe in try to make me go back my old self .
Im dono wad to do now .
Love or harted .
Which one can give me power .
Is revenge tat important .
Is there really no 1 u can trust in this world .
-Sigh-

2009-04-13T22:37:00.002+08:00

Sian .
Im back to blog .
I feeling..
Abit..
Tired ?
Scared ?
Useless ?
Sad ?
Emo as usual .
Read Jun Rong blog .
Haiix .
Felt sad for him .
But can do NTH to HELP .
Felt so uselesss .
Exams are coming in 11days .
Worried !
My phy,Maths,History really cmi .
Im worried !
I wana enter to a poly .
But everything is too late now .
I only can blame tat why didnt i listen to pplz comments last time to study hard .
Maybe those are the signs of immature .
I wana help kor alot .
I saw 2 cases of a failling to enter a poly and how they regreted.
One was my kor from ite but didnt make it to a poly.
And another one was a express student didnt make it to a poly .
Im scared .
Wad can i do .
Is everything really too late ?
Is everything fated and nth i can do ?
Haiix..
I feel lyk offing my pc now .
Nites all .

2009-04-10T22:24:00.002+08:00

Visited JJ's blog and I Got nth better to do so i decided to do this thing.
10 Are You's

1. Are you single - duh
2. Are you happy - no .
3. Are you bored - YES!
4. Are you fair - Not really
5. Are you Italian - Nope
6. Are you intelligent - No !
7. Are you honest - Depens .
8. Are you nice - Dono ?
9. Are you Irish - No !
10. Are you Asian - Yes .

10 Facts

1. Name : Jonathan Lam Zi Teng
2. Nick: Emoboii
3. Birth place: Singapore.
4. Hair colour: Black.
5. Natural Hair style: Messy
6. Eye colour: Black.
7. Birthday: 31 Dec
8. Mood: Emo/Sad
9. Favourite colour: Black n White .
10. One place you want to visit: Japan .

10 things about my love life

1. Have you ever been in love: yes .
2. Do you believe in love at first sight: YES
3. Do have currently have a crush - no .
4. Have you ever been hurt emotionally - Yes .
5. Have you ever broken someone's heart - Yes .
6. Have you ever have your heart broken - Yes .
7. Have you ever liked someone but never told them - No .
8. Are you afraid of commitment - Don Understand ?
9. The last person you hugged - My ex ex Stead
10. Who was the last person you said I love you to - XiuHui .
10 This or That

1. Love or Lust - Love .
2. Hard liquor or beer - None .
3. Cat or Dog - Dog .
4. A few best friends or any regular friends - Both
5. Creamy or Crunchy - Both
6. Pencil or Pen - Pen .
7. Wild night out or Romantic Night in - Both
8. Money or Happiness - Both
9. Night or Day - Night
10. IM or phone - Phone

10 Have you ever

1. Been caught sneaking out - duh
2. Seen a polar bear - Yes .
3. Done something you regret - Yes of cos .
4. Bungee jumped - Nope .
5. Eaten food that fell on the floor - No .
6. Finish entire jaw breaker - o.o
7. Been caught naked - Not Going To Tell U !
8. Wanted an ex gf/bf back - Not Sure .
9. Cried because you lost a pet - Yes .
10. Wanted to disappear - Don Get It .

10 preferences in a partner

1. Smile or Eyes - Smile.
2. Light hair or Dark hair - Dark hair.
3. Hugs or Kisses - Hugs.
4. Shorter or Taller - Shorter
5. Intelligent or Attraction - Attraction.
6. Topman or Zara - Huh ?
7. Funny or Serious - Both.
8. Older or Younger - younger
9. Outgoing or Quiet - Outgoing.
10. Sweet or Bad - Sweet.

10 Have you's

1. Ever performed in front of a large crowd - Yes.
2. Ever talked on the phone for more than 1 hour - Yes.
3. Ever walked on hands - Nope
4. Ever been to a rock concert - Nope
5. Ever been in a cheerleading team - No .
6. Ever been in a dance team - NOPE
7. Ever been in a sports team - NOPE
8. Ever been in a drama play - No .
9. Ever owned a BMW/Mercedes Benz/Escalade/Hummer/Bentley - Soon .
10. Ever been in a rap video - i can't RAP!

10 last's

1. Last phone call you made - 30mins .
2. Last person you hugged - My ex ex Stead .
3. Last person you hung out with - Friends
4. Last person you worked for - Govt .
5. Last person you talked to - Wendy n Jun Rong
6. Last person you IM - Don Get Understand .
7. Last person you texted - My kor .
8. Last person you went movie with - Wendy n Jun Rong .
9. Last person/things you missed - All my ex steads
10. Last website visited - JJ's Blog .

2009-04-06T00:31:00.002+08:00

*To the person i hurt so much*
I dono why are u so cold to me.
A few words of urs hurt me so badly.
Im sorry for wad i have done last time.
But u said it was all too late.
U wanted to go back lyk last time.
But i told u the feelings wasnt the same.
Its been a year plus since we met.
I really hope someday i can meet u again.
I know wad are u going throught now.
But i felt so useless.
Cos i can do anything to help.
I really miss u.
I really do.
Maybe i don have the guts to meet u.
If god can hear me.
I hope tat.
All ur wishes will come true.
I know u shldnt end ur life here.
Please dont.
If ur time is up.
Why don i give u mine.
Ask god take my life instead?
Maybe u know how to cherish things around u more then i do.
U are one of the most important person in my life.
Please don leave me.
U are one of the walls in my heart.
If u are gone.
I dono wad will happen to me.
Maybe i only can blame myself.
I guess u wont believe me anymore either.
For being so indecisive.
*To readers*
Don ask me who is this person.
I wont tell.
Sorry.

2009-04-01T19:23:00.002+08:00

Haiix..
Im Back..
Today Is A Very Tiring Day..
Had My Eng Oral..
And I Guess-ed Tat i Failed..?
Wanted To Go Sakae Also.
But The Oral Made Me 30Mins Late.
In The End..
Fren Say So Late..
Donwan Go Le..
Then I Went Home.
Bath..Eat..Maple?
Then Tml Got Spot Check.
I Kindly Told Jol And Brenda.
Wad I Get In The End?
A Scolding From Her Saying Tat.
U know U VERY FAN ANOT ?
Call Ppl Bo Reply Then Keep Talking.
I Was Lyk..?
WTF?
Try To Be A G0od Guy Still Kena Scolding?
Sian.
No Frens Pei Wo.
I So Lonely Now.
Haiix..
Im Going To Rest Le.
BB All.

2009-03-18T02:18:00.004+08:00

Haiix..
Im Back..
Once Again..
My Blog Have Been DEAD For Abt..
Hmm..
2months and 18days..?
Haha..
REcently i know this guy call..
Ming Yang(main yang)
Also a wolf covered wif a sheep skin..
JokingJoking..
Haiix..
His looks cut open a deep scar in my heart..
Making me think..
why am i so ugly..
why am i so fat..
well..
his very handsome..
stand at 1.72cm tall..
55kg..(WOW)
Unlike me..
Standing at 1.75cm tall
77kg..(HAIIX)
i wanted to slim down..
i tried to slim down..
But always it ended halfway..
I wonder sometimes..
who can give me such a big motivation to make me slim down for him/her?
Haiix..
i miss my ex gf..
xiuhui..
sometimes i think..
isit a mistake to start this relationship..?
Haiix..
i cannot find any purpose to live in this world anymore..
didnt know why im born in this world..
haiix..
im so lonely now adays..
how i wish someone can pei me..
I guess tats all i can say..
im offing my pc le..
thanks to whoeva is reading this and good nite my dear diary..
lastly..Ming Yang is Finding Gf!
Must chio de!
Cute also can!
His Msn is:teomingyang@hotmail.com
Please DO NOT GO DI XIAO HIM UNLESS U WAN A BF!

2008-12-31T00:44:00.003+08:00

Im back to blog!
Im so happy!
Cos its finally my bdae!
No more 14years old boy.
But 15years old teenage!
Haha!
I Hereby wana thank 11pplz who took out time to give me a sms or call wishing me happy birthday.
For now.
1.Hudah.
2.Waynn
3.Pamela
4.Sherene
5.Sharlene
6.Jason kor!
7.cassandra Jie!
8.Hamizah
9.Joycelin
10.Jun Rong
11.Wendy.
Sorry if i missed out any.
But im happy tat so many pplz remember-ed my Bdae!
Lots of Thanks to waynn,pamela,joycelin because they are not close to me.
But they remember-ed my birthday.
And one very special person is Sheda.she even did a countdown on her blog!
Haha!
Thanks all!
*Take Note.Those names are pplz who wished my happy birthday before i blog.So names after i blog will not appear.cos too lazy to edit.LOL!*

2008-12-30T19:47:00.003+08:00

Time started: 0747 pm

Sex: Male

Birthday: 31 December 1993

Siblings: 2 including myself .

Eye color: Dark brown

Shoe size: Dono

Height: 173 cm

What are you wearing ?
- Home Clothes?DUH?

Where do you live ?
- Pasir Ris , Singapore

Righty or lefty ?
- Righty

Can you make a dollar in change right now ?
- What ?

Who are your closest friends ?
- I Don Wan To Answer This Question.Because Those Who Don See Their Name Here Will Be Sad!

Best place for a date ?
- Any Where Wif My Stead .

Where is your fav place to shop ?
- Can't decide .

Favorite kind of plant ?
- Catus ?

Fave Color: BLACK And WHITE !!

Fave Number: None .

Fave Boys Name ?
- Don't know ?

Fave Girls Name ?
- Don't know ?

Fave Sport: Badminton .

Fave Month: December .

Movies: Harry Potter .

Juice: Orange .

Finger: Not sure .

Breakfast food: Zhu Chang Fen !

Favorite cartoon character: Power Ranger .

Given anyone a bath: Not Telling U .

Smoked: Nope .

Made yourself throw-up: Yes.

Gone skinny dipping: What ?

Eaten a dog: Ewww ?

Put your tongue on a frozen pole ?
- Nope ..

Loved someone so much it made you cry ?
- Hell YES .

Broken a bone?
- Nope .

Played truth or dare ?
- YUP

Been in a physical fight: Once .

Been in a police car: Never .

Been on a plane: Thailand And China.

Come close to dying: Nope ?

Been in a sauna: Nope .

Been in a hot tub: Nope !

Cried when someone died: Duhhh .

Cried in school: Almost (:

Wait for someone's phone call all night: Yup .

Saved AIM/Yahoo/MSN conversations: Nope .

Saved e-mails: From The Games I Play.

Fallen for one of your best friends: Yes But Its Fine Now .

Made out with JUST a friend?: I Don Understand .

Used someone: No Comments .

----------------------------------------------------------------
What is...
----------------------------------------------------------------

Whats your good luck charm ?
- Not sure .

Best song you ever heard: Can't decide .

What's your bedroom like: Rubbish Bin .

Last thing you said: LOL .

What is beside you ?
- My Chair .

Last thing you ate: Medication.

What kind of shampoo do you use ?
- SilkPro .

Best thing that has happened to you this year: None.

Worst thing that has happened to you this year: Forgotten .

----------------------------------------
Have you had...
----------------------------------------

Chicken pox: Yes .

Sore Throat: Yes .

Stitches: No .

Broken nose: Nope .

---------------------------------------------------
Do You.
---------------------------------------------------

Believe in love at first sight: Can't really say .

Like school: Yes because I get to see my friends .

What schools have you gone to: Elias Park Primary & Loyang Secondary .

Eat a live hamster for $1,000,000. dollars: That's sick !

If you were stuck on an island, what people would you want with you ?
- My Stead(But Sad Tat I Don Have Any) and people who can get me out from th island .

Who was the last person that called you ?
- My God-Bother(i think) .

Who was the last person you slow danced with ?
- No Have .

What makes you laugh the most ?
- Cant Remember .

What makes you smile ?
- Dono ?
---------------------------------------------------
Last Person..
----------------------------------------------------

You yelled at: My God-Brother .

Who broke your heart: Ex which is a year ago .

Told you that they love you: Not Gonna Tell u .

Is your loudest friend: Yvonne Lai .

------------------------------------------------------------
Do you/Are You:
------------------------------------------------------------

Do you like filling these out ?
- Not Really ? Doing It Cos Im Bored .

Do you wear contacts or glasses ?
- Nope . But Wanted Glasses .

Do you like yourself ?
- Nope .

Do you get along with your family ?
- Not that much .

Stolen anything over $50: Nope .

Obsessive Compulsive ?
- What ?

Anorexic ?
- What ?

Suicidal ?
- What ?

-----------------------------------------------------------
Final questions
-----------------------------------------------------------

What are you listening to right now?
- Nothing .

What did you do yesterday ?
- Play Com and slack th whole day .

Have you hated someone in your family ?
- Yes .

Got any awards: Yup !

What car do you wish to have ?
- Not sure .

Where do you want to get married ?
- Haven Think Of That Yet .

If you could change anything about yourself, what would you change ?
- Confidential .

Good driver: Wish to .

Good Singer: Hope So .

Have a lava lamp: Wish to .

How many remote controls are in your house ?
- Don't know ?

Are you double jointed ?
- What ?

What do you dream about ?
- Lots Until I Cant Finish Naming .

Last time you showered: Around 30mins Ago . Or Somewhere There .

Last time you took a bath: What ?

Scary or happy movies: Happy !

Chocolate or white chocolate: Can I Choose Both ?

Root Beer or Dr.Pepper: Root Beer ! Cos Nvr Drink Dr.Pepper Before .

Mud or Jell-O wrestling: What ?

Vanilla or chocolate: Chocolate !

Summer or winter: Wish there's winter .

Silver or Gold: Silver .

Diamond or pearl: Diamond .

Sunset or Sunrise: Sunset .

Sprite or 7up: Both .

Cats or dogs: Dogs .

Coffee or tea: Coffee .

Phone or in person: Both .

Indoor or outdoor: Both .

End Time: 0814 pm

PS: Anyone who found this quiz ,
is free to do it .

Haha!
Now time to blog.
Im Counting Down 3hours and 44mins to my 15th Bdae.
LOL.
Going Play Neopets And Viwawa now.

2008-12-12T01:52:00.003+08:00

Haiix.
Feeling emo now.
Got taken out of SYF.
Saw waynn's tag.
Went to read his blog.
Think nw..
Wad shld i do..
I mean..
Erm..erm..
*speechless*
Haiix his waiting for my answer yet i don know how to answer him..
Job? or dancing?
No job=no clothes
Meaning will keep wearing the same clothes.
Haiix.
God!
I pray to u last nite
Can u hear my voice?
I know im farfar away from u.
But lets hope the wind brings my voice into ur ears..

*19DAys CountDown To My 15th Birthday*

2008-12-11T18:56:00.002+08:00

Haiix.
Im back to blog.
Todae i skipped CCA.
At first i thought tat i wanted to give up on SYF.
Cos i don think i can take the stress.
Cos the whole nite i didnt slp well.
I think throught alot stuff.
I still dono wads the answer.
Or how to slove the problems.
Thinking back nw.
It was really STUPID of me.
On second thought.
Maybe im busy enuf..
Anyway.
I fall sick.
Thank god i skipped CCA
Cos i feel cold and hot at the same time.
Headache.
Voumited out the medi i ate.
Stomache.
Wonder wad will happen if i went CCA.
Got to go Now!
Going to take some rest!
Maybe its time for me to relax myself n don think too much..
When will i ever learn to let go..
My blog's dead too..
No 1 is tagging me often..

2008-12-11T00:58:00.002+08:00

Haiix.
Im back to blog.
Nth much happened to.
Juz went out in the afternoon to folo en hui to take her magzine she order at bugis.
Came home at 5.35pm
Bath-ed!
Hmm..
Still got alot small stuff..
But currently having stomache.
So no mood to post.
Thinking abt wad answer shld i give waynn..
Yes? or No?
Haiix.
Can GOD please gimme some directions?!
Going off pc soon.
Tml cca is from 9.30Am to 4.30Pm.
Haiix.
Doesnt wish to go!

*20Days CountDown To my 15th Birthday*

2008-12-10T03:14:00.003+08:00

Haiix.
Im emo now.
Waynn juz asked me to go learn dancing.
At "O School"
I was shocked.
I didnt give him a answer.
I said i will think abt it.
I dono wad to do.
I mean,im scared i cant cope.
Second thing.
Haiix.
Many readers do not know.
Or shld i say.
NO one knows.
I have limited clothes.
And i wan to make a clearence abt something.
Having a ATM card is nth.
Doesnt make me any richer.
Im not rich!
For the LAST time!
Back to the limited clothes topic.
I don wish to keep going out wif waynn to learn dancing wearing the same clothes.
Even he don mind but i dono wad would the class think.
Other then tat.
I dono Whether i can cope anot.
Im scared?Afraid?
Im really glad he asked.
I never thought tat waynn would talk to me.
I mean,hes cool n stuff..
Why would he wana make fren wif a fat n ugly boy or so called teenage?
Until nw i still dono why.
Haiix.
But there is one thing im glad.
Either monday or tuesday,hamizah told me tat she wanted to celetbrate my BDAE!!
Im so touched.
I mean,they are not really tat close to me.
E.g lyk hamizah n hudah.
I mean they could have not care.
But im glad they did.
Im heading to bed.
Lets hope GOD will gimme some directions.
*praying hard*
Nitez all!

*21Days CountDown To My 15th Birthday*

2008-12-08T01:50:00.002+08:00

Haiix.
Dono whyy cant slp!
Sheng kor is currently playing audi.
Meeting him at 2am on msn.
Haiix.
GLad tat he found another job.
But must go for second interview!
Hope its a sucess!
Cos its his dream job?
I guess?
LMAO!
Haiix.
Currently playing neopets.
While blogging.
I know its LAME.
But quite fun afterall.
Know some HOT mums!
Tat is in her 50s!
But still playing neopets.
Hmm..not hot mum afterall..maybe COOL GRANDMA!
Cos she have her grandchildrens already.
Cool uh?
I cant believe it when she told me so.
Haiix.
I think nth else to post.
I think i will go going.
NiteZ!

*23Days CountDown To My 15th Birthday!*

2008-12-06T02:53:00.002+08:00

Haiix.
Dono whyy cant slp.
Maybe its because i heard the news of my kor lost his job.
Second thing is,i need a job,BADLY!
To buy presents for my sisters n brothers!
Haha!
Nth much to post today.
Speechless.
Heading to bed in 34mins time.

*25Days countdown to my 15th Birthday*

2008-12-03T02:31:00.004+08:00

Todae woke up at 8.45(cca is at 9.30)
Went to bath,changed,took a bus to skul for cca
Then ken was late.until 10.15?i think.
Then we thought the instrutor was late,again,as usual.
In the end Mrs Chew came up to us,saying she forgotten tat the instrutor changed the timing to 1.30pm.
Everyone was pissed off.
So we went on chit-chatting abt anime,neopets,wads for LUNCH!LOL!
In the end i got so hungry i told them to go central to have breakfast.
Since we got nth better to do.
So we went to 7-11,buy chocolate milk.
Then head down to coffee express.
Had something call xian zhou been hoon.
Wasted half a plate.
Dono why.
Mrs Chew msg 4 of us.
Together.
Asking whether we are together.
Then head back to skul.
Sit down.
Started chatting again.
Then we came to ask us.
Whyy we go central nvr tell her.
Then everyone point at me.
Then as usual,she would say whyy got eat nvr call n ask whther the teachers wan takeaway anot.
But,used to it already.
Then blahblahblah.
Oo,its 1.40pm
The instrutor is late.
As usual.
Then we move to Dance studio.
As we was moving the stuff,he wanted markers,to write.
Everyone shouted shannon,BUT he donwan.
So...Stubbon.
As usual.
LOL!
Then ken n shannon called me n en hui.
To be fair,we play Scissors,Paper,Stone.
Then the instrutor was saying.play wad play!faster la!
But he late 10mins we also nvr say anything?!
Play Scissors,Paper,Stone need 3secs nia.
Anyway!
OLE!i won!
So i went to take a chair.(Trying to nice to the instrutor)
But then,i heard tat he was saying:i don care i don care.i wan U go n TAKE.i was lyk.
Why me?
Not fair!
Then as i was leaving the room i heard he saying,wad kind of man is he,ask gurl go take things.But shannon n ken did also ask en hui.Why target me only.
Oo well..
NVM!
I REN!
As i came back wif the markers.i show him my angry face.
Then ken was lyk.jonathan is angry.everyone careful.
After tat he started to teach.
And for the 2hours,he keep making round to shoot us back(hinting us stupid)
He keep saying,so easy song u all still dono.
i was lyk.WTH?First time learn u wan us lyk pro lyk tat.
Then en hui n i made the same mistake.
I was telling en hui,nvm,we pratice together.
Then he was saying.Eh please la!u wan help pplz ur help urself first la.u cant even take care urself u wan help others.
Then i was lyk?WTF?trying to be kind n still tio scolded?
NVM!
i Decided to tell Mrs chew,either he watch wad he say.or i auto give up my place chinese new yr n Syf.
This is not the first time liao.
Lao hu bu fa wei,don treat me lyk a sick cat.
Oo well.cca ended at 5pm?(forgotten)
Went home,fully wet.cos was trying to DEstress while playing in the Rain.
Then Bath,Eat dinner,play neopets awhile,SLeep.
Then woke up.
At 12am.(i think)
Then saw alot miss call,SMSes
Then replyreply..
Chat wif ken,kor,woke panda di up,accidently.
Then watch Feng Yun,last ep.
Then came online,neopets again,load CardCaptor Sakura.Talk to my kor on msn.
Then Go my blog.
See if anyone tagged me.
Then started blogger.
Because waynn ask me too.
LOL!
Going to watch CardCaptor Sakura now.
See u guys.
Next Time!
Nitez!
*28Days CountDown to my Birthday*

2008-11-26T20:26:00.003+08:00

yoh!wadsup readers!emoboii is back to blog!but no longer emo but sort of happy.first of all im glad alot of my sec 1 n 2 frens still remember me n they even took time to read my blog lyk waynn...yana..sheda..n even some new frens i made from the china trip lyk shannon..well..im not very good wif words but im really very happy but little actions lyk this..i though my blog was dead..no readers..juz me n the blog..haha..well..im really very surprise my long-time fren,waynn took time to even read my blog after re-linking me.well..currently im 78kg..n my hopes are to be at 60?(to make sure no tummy AT ALL)haha.well..i really hope i can sort of "re-born"?to be the last time ah jon.the 1 tat have a big,wide smile on his face tat my voice will brighten pplz days up.hmm..who will stand by me..currently im sending my ownself to see the skul's xin li yi sheng.(if u don understand,im sorry,i forget how to spell in english.)cos i think i wont be able to beat my "emo-ness" alone wif 3family problems,1 ZI BEI problems,1 frens problem,2 relationship problems,2 skul problem..haiix n the last thing is who will remember my birthday while everyone is celebrating a starting of a year..

*35days countdown to 15th birthday*

2008-11-21T00:29:00.004+08:00

haiix..to readers..please don mind the big spacing in the 2 previous post..i dono wad happened..

2008-11-21T00:16:00.004+08:00

haiix..emoboii is back to blog..haiix..im really sad..heart broken..cos my bro..juz scold me..selfish..dono think of others feelings..love to lie..emoboii's heart dono can last how long..its really painful n hard to contine..juz now my panda dii still say..he doesnt wana talk to a emo guy..haiix..maybe its true bahhs..im juz a fat..ugly..stupid..selfish..liar..immature..gayish..guy..haiix..if u say i dono understand others feelings..then who will understand mine..haiix..where my life ends..?or shld i say..wads the point of im living..

2008-11-20T21:48:00.002+08:00

haiix..emoboii is back to blog..these few days..alot things happen in my life..me n "her" is over..she hates me..she got bf le..she ask me si xin bahhs..she even scold me gay..haiix..not the first time le..can i say tat..?haiix..used to pplz calling me BIG FAT PIG/PANDA/STUPID/UGLY guy..haiix..emoboii is off to a conor of his house to emo..

2008-11-08T20:36:00.002+08:00

haiix..emoboii is back to blog..haiix..my blog seem to be dead..no 1 come tag me..haiix..i am very greatful GOD gave me a second family..tats ms liu yan they all..i always though tat GOD everytime gives me something he will take away something..but thinking back nw..he has given everything i could ever had..lyk a cute diidii(jun rong)..he always cheers my day up(not saying they rest did nth)..GOD i hereby pray tat i hope i wana know my second family closer n closer..n pass my test on tue..In Jesus's name i pray..Amen.

2008-11-07T21:55:00.004+08:00

haiix..emoboii is back to blog..i am feeling so down after talking to ah dii(jun rong),Ros,Da jie..haiix i feel tat i am a BIG,FAT,STUPID,IDIOTIC,LAZY human..big is cos i am too fat..stupid cos i cant even study well in NA,idiotic is cos face lyk pig.SO UGLY!lazy is cos i am too playful until donwan study..haiix..i decided not to take any rice or noodles or wad from tml on n try to eat only VEg n go gym everyday..gym cost $1.5 each time $1.5X30days i need $45..aww..wallet going burn another big hole..haiix at the same time..the heart necklace wif "her" name i bought for myself to wear broke..wad does it means..isit meaning we cant be together..?

2008-11-07T15:53:00.004+08:00

eek!the snacks tat i bought suck!taste lyk flour!LOL!anyway i cant upload the pics somehow..haiix..feeling emo now..the i got 1 dii call junrong..he hor..very cute de..wear glasses tat time lyk guaiguai boiiboii..don wear tat time lyk gangster..LOL!SCARY!but he okok la..he last time also quiet fat but nw he dammed slim 61kg nia!from 70 till 60..but go china gain 1 kg!LMAO!how i wish i can be lyk him so perfect..haiix..GOD how i wish i can be lyk him..GOD i really hope u can gimme 1month's power!juz 1month!gimme the power to live on wif bread everyday,everymeal!gimme the motivate to slim down!juz lyk how he did it!In Jesus's name i pray.AMEN!

2008-11-06T00:05:00.003+08:00

Yo Dudes n Babes!emoboii is back to blog!haiix..i miss every1 in SG!!OLE!!When i went for the trip i got myself some new family members!starting from oldest,My Mummy,Ms liu yan!Da jie,Sharlene.Er jie,Lingling.San jie,Ros.Da kor,ken.Si jie,yvonne lai.Then comes by ME!!San dii,jun rong.Si dii,andy.Wu mei,zoe.todae went shopping n bought a pair of shoes at 420RMB!!omg..so heart pain..tat was in the afternoon.soon after lunch we went to nite market..omg..i was following mr long n my new brothers to go shopping for 2hours!!in the end i only bought a KEYCHAIN!!soo angry then i buy some snacks when i was walking back to the bus..when i was on the bus i then remember i need 2 more boxes!!omg!!wad shld i do God!then i emo on the bus..when we finish our dinner we celebrate ANGEL bdae!!aww..how i wish ppl can celebrate my bdae..haiix..as i was in the bus back to hotel..i emo throughtout..LOL lucky on the last day juz b4 i going take the flight we found a shop n i bought another 3 boxes..LOL..anyway..i am going to upload the pic in the next post real soon so it wont be too long..btw i reached SG at 9.47pm+ in the nite ytd..

2008-10-29T19:49:00.002+08:00

haiix..emoboii is back to release his feelings out..haiix..now i juz had my dinner..waaa so full..all my fav food..got potato..fish..n etc..haiix soon i have to leave my family member n fly to china wif my skul frens..dono whyy theres a unexplainable feeling in my heart..isn't tat wad i always wanted..god grant my wish but why am i still so sad?haiix then i found the MV for a very old song..i think..its will pan de "Tell me"..haiix he so shuai..after i see him i take a look at myself..its lyk..haiix..u guys know..i don need to explain..haiix..god..i pray tat u can grant mii the will n power to slim down..god u show me ur mighty powers b4..do it again..send ur angels down to help mi..!IN Jesus in i pray.Amen!

2008-10-23T12:04:00.002+08:00

haiix..omg..i stay back in sec 3 sia..dammed EMO now..wana cry..but so many pplz sia.haiix now i juz came back to itr room 2..haiix..god..wad can i do..wad u wana me to do..!

2008-10-22T13:41:00.002+08:00

lol..todae started off wif been late AGAIN!lol..then after tat my fone got spam(as usual)..then when i am let off..i choing to itr2 n they started wifout me..sobsob!!then blahblahblah then recess!!we had our recess wif ms liu yan.then went back to the overseas thing then blahblahblah.ole!skul's over!!but its raining heavily..so me n hudah run under the rain..lol..todae's kinda BORING..lmao!oo well..i going to cook my lunch.cya!maybe more to post ltr on!xD

2008-10-21T13:19:00.002+08:00

haiix..juz finish skul..so tired..todae in skul i had lost of fun starting off wif NOT been late.n saw "her" when i got off the cab.i did not dare to walk near her cos i m afraid tat she donwan to fren wif me anymore.soon after had played lots of games wif my new frens from other classes at the overseas trip.then ken n en hui ask me go KBOX n let me n "her" have the couple seats.then i was thinking..since she doesnt care abt me n only wana be frens..when keep forcing..well there is no happiness when things are forced to be together?haiix..after a nite's thinking..i think i juz wana buried my feeling for "her" deep inside my heart n nvr let it rise to the surface ever again..haiix leaving her alone makes my heart pain..but is there any other choice?shldnt love someone be seeing tat person happy?well..as long she is happy..i mean even wif other guys..as long i can see her happy tat will do..haiix..its easier to say then do..can i really let go of her..?god!please teach me wad to do!

2008-10-20T18:37:00.003+08:00

haiix..todae i started off wif going skul LATE!then i got spam by kai ling,hamizah(got used to it).then when i went back to class.i haven sat down for more then 1min!Mr Han call for all overseas student n class chairman.zz..then as we walk to meet mr han.i told KL n hamizah abt the job to be a salesman.then hamizah got so angry cos kl got another job which offers a better pay.LOL!then blah blah blah abt the overseas thing..the after skul.. me n ken went to 3a3 to meet en hui,vanez n pam.then soon vanez n pam went home then en hui came up to me n telling me tat "she" knows everything?!i was lyk wtf?i was thinking who betray me?haiix..only pam,en hui,hamizah,ken..they are all my good frens..haiix..then we went canteen..en hui brought up the topic tat wad so nice abt "her"..then ken was lyk saying its normal for me to get rejected..cos i also not handsome or cute..haiix..i know la..i fat..ugly..haiix..but is fat ppl falling in love a crime?haiix..can any1 answer my question..now i dono wad to do..shld i keep my distance away from "her" n juz watch her live happily wif her life n let me suffer all the pain..or how i wish i can go into a deep slp..living in the world i created..so i wont get hurt ever again..wondering my heart can survive how long more..

2008-10-20T01:00:00.003+08:00

*yawn*wad a tiring nite!ytd didnt slp well at my korkor house n woke up at 1pm in the afternoon.then his mum asked my to go wash up n eat the been hoon+noodles she bought for me.i took an hour plus to finish it cos there is duo ya inside which i don eat.then while waiting for him to come home from work..his sis keep bugging me n touching my hp..lol..then 10pm i went to the mrt station,i took a free ride cos i forget to scan my card at lakeside.lol.because i keep talking to my korkor until i juz folo him go through the gates without scanning my card.LOL!!then we did the same thing to go out of the gates when we reached pasir ris.lmao!its kinda funny thinking back now.a free ride leh.how many pplz can get a free ride.lmao.opps!looking at the time now!time to go bed.will come back to share more abt my life tml.hope tml is a better day for us..Nite readers!

2008-10-17T10:02:00.001+08:00

haiix..god ah god!help me!teach me wad to do!i really wan the job!n i also wan go china!haiix..shld i go?or don go for the job?

2008-10-16T21:28:00.003+08:00

Another day passed..haiix..juz now went out wif ken to go white sands to eat dinner at 3plus..LOL then we went E!HUB to play at zone-x then my mum called asking me whether i wan the job as salesman 20days,8hours per day,1hour $6.50!!its lyk $1040 total!!so cool!but sad news..its only 14 days left b4 i must fly to CHINA!haiix..god..are u making fun of me.i did pray tat i wan a good job..u gave me hope..but crush it again..haiix..god help mi ah!i really need money!haiix..

2008-10-15T22:05:00.002+08:00

haiix..todae i am super super emo!i know my overall liao..haiix..i passed 1 eng n chinese..i failed the rest..my poa got 48..ms yeoh is trying to push mii up to sec 4..im scared..haiix..any1 can answer me..is been fat a crime?fatty fall in love isit a crime?is fatty not allowed to fall in love?haiix..

2008-10-14T15:14:00.002+08:00

haiix..todae i got very bad news..i fail my CH..maths too..i might not make it to sec 4..haiix..headache..dono wad to do..todae vanez cried..dono wad can i say to an wei her..haiix..wad if i had to stay back..?will i be able to take the blow..?

2008-10-13T23:02:00.002+08:00

haiix..im so bored nw..juz finish my dinner not long..i had wonton soup wif noodles.. todae i also went vanez house..play MAJONG!!LOL!mii n Ling wei are the winners..she won $7plus sia..i won $1plus..at least better then nth..oo well..maybe tat wad a saying goes..it doesnt matter abt the result..but its the process..LOL!oo well..looking at the time now..time to go talk on fone.lmao!lol!cya!

2008-10-12T10:52:00.002+08:00

omg!!im so tired..ytd my mum was running a high fever..i take care of her until 2 or 3am then slp..zzz..turning panda soon..then after i wake up.my freaking fone don work!send sms no 1 recive?!call pplz auto hang for me?!WTF!dono wads happen!then i wan send for repair..dono how.ask my father send.a billion yrs ltr then he return me.omg!!wad shld i do..then i heard The Wallet Shop was looking pplz at jurong point..so my bro ask me go TM try my luck..haiix..but they no need ppl..i pray to god ytd nite..i said i really wan a job to earn money to buy stuff..i donwan keep depening on my parents..haiix..but when will my wish come true..?

2008-10-09T10:56:00.002+08:00

haiix..i dono shld i say i am too lucky..or too suay..todae i went to buy laksa after POA paper..i told the auntie 5TIMES!i donwan dou ya n la jiao.she still put..then i went mac to order food..the person hear wrong wad i wan..making mi say it AGAIN!haiix..dono wad to say..then on the way home..i met "him"..omg..haiix..wad can i say..too lucky?or too suay?haiix..so tired nw..wana go rest while..cya!

2008-10-01T22:39:00.002+08:00

haiix..todae was a tiring day for mii..todae is my 3yrs best fren bdae!his name is ken..i plan 1week plus n spend around $50+ was hoping to give him a surprise..but unexpectedly..the BBQ pit was a disappointment for mi..it was so dirty..many of them complain..saying tat whyy swould i choose this kind of place..so heartbreaking..i tried to cheer ken up..but it seem tat i failed..i was hoping to know wad happened to him..whyy is he tat emo..haiix..miss the old times when we was sec 1..but its all in the past..

2008-08-26T22:02:00.002+08:00

haiix..i'm back..today i finally cannot take the stress n brokedown..i dono wad can i do or wad shld i do..many n many people know abt my blog..but who are my true frens..who will stand by mii throughout this whole thing..

2008-08-23T22:10:00.001+08:00

haiix..soon another day is going to end..darkness falls once again..but there is at least moon n stars to brighten the sky..not lyk my world..so dark tat i couldnt see the light anywhere..whose gonna be the sun in my world..?

2008-08-22T22:36:00.001+08:00

haiix..i am back..i dono whyy..but i juz no longer feel scared n lonely..isit becos i got used to living in my world of darkness..?or isit i gave up on all hopes..?

2008-08-21T16:07:00.003+08:00

i am back..wif my feeling dying..todae finally my heart is dead..3yrs frenship is gone..3yrs fren gave mi a fatal stab..i will nvr trust frenship ever again..down here..i give up..i lost..my hopes are all gone..i'm alone once again..so lonely n dark..living in my own world..or maybe frenship is juz not the thing for mi..i gave up on seeking help..maybe i juz let fate decided for mii..but those who bretay mii..uu guys remember..one day..uu guys juz wait..i am gonna make uu back mii back 10times of wad uu guys did..
from mii to any1..another song tat i lyk..

2008-08-20T15:55:00.004+08:00

haiix..long time no blog..finally i am back..to the grave of all my feeling..haiix..i have step into this land of darkness once again..where all my feeling die..haiix..i came back here..wif more problems in my heart ever..i tired to seek help..but no 1 was stading by mi..no 1 wanted to lend mii their helping hand..now when ms tan is away from mii..who will save mii this time..i am falling deeper n deeper in the darkness in my heart as each sec passby..wad shld i do..my mind is blank..can some 1 please guide mi..
haiix..heres a sad,love song..from mi..to anyone..

2008-07-08T15:10:00.002+08:00

haiix..todae its the second time i post for the day..after hearing "your not alone"it seem tat it brought out my pain n sorrow deep inside my heart tat i donwan to let pplz to see..somewhere in my heart i sense tat the gurl had beem through muchmuch more then mii..i really wana know her more..lets hope i can meet her asap..

2008-07-08T13:23:00.003+08:00

haiix todae i felt very sad..i really wana know who is the gurl who donwan tell mii her name..she seem to know alot abt mii..i got a feeling tat is some1 i knew..but long ago forgotten in my past memory..i hope she agree to let mii meet her..juz once..mii n her..alone..haiix..darkness's shadow starting to appear deep inside of my heart..haiix..i am so confused now..

2008-07-06T01:48:00.003+08:00

well..todae i finally went sakae AGAIN!!OLE!!it was so full..wif deep fried foods..LOL!!cos i order too much by mistake..LOL!!anyway..to:(the gurl who donwan tell mii her name)well..its not i donwan look the bright side of life..but sometime i reaqlly felt so alone n no 1 to talk to talk can understand my feeling..my frens keep commenting abt my blog..i juz wanted a place to let go of my feeling..it tat wrong!n i hope uu are not taking drugs..its bad for uu..n to clear the misunderstand between my frens in loyang!i said i got no true frens meaning those tat can truely understand how i feel!i got family problems..study problems..sometimes i think..its not i donwan get a tution..its my family cannot afford mii 1..uu guys always ask mii whyy i dono psp no this no tat..let mii say it here!I AM NOT A RICH BOY!I GOT MONEY PROBLEMS AT HOME!OKIE!STOP CALLING MII RICH BOY!I GOT $80 PER MONTH!IS TAT RICH!NOOO!!!uu guys said whyy i so rich i donwan treat uu guys wif the money i earned at lta..i need it for buying things!!clothes!!shoes n bags!!i got no 1 to talk to since my SS teacher left my class..haiix..i gonna end here..time to rest..gonna let go my feelings another day..Nitez!

2008-07-04T20:08:00.003+08:00

haiix another bad news of the day which makes my heart dead..15weeks to EYE!END YEAR EXAM!i keep changing cher..diff teaching style..i am not even used to it..i think i gonna stay back..*crying* so scared..every1 in skul have been talking abt my blog..wads wrong wif my blog..blog to mii its a place where i can let my feeling go..but if pplz wana criti abgt my blog..let mii tell uu wad..IF UU DON LYK IT!DON BOTHER READ!COS I SAID B4 ITS MY GRAVE FOR ALL MY FEELING!!if uu guys are blind..well..TOO BAD!thinking tat the moment i heard tat i stay back..my wounded heart starts to bleed again..but this time who isit gonna save mii..who is gonna lend mii a helping hand when i in the lowest point of my life..am i alone?once again?well..i forget to post abt a new guy i know..his called shannon..he kinda fun?at a age of 13..well he is tall..tats forsure..16x at 13..LOL!!somehow..i juz feel tat somewhere in his heart..there is a lonely side of him..a side which he donwan pplz to see..am i rite or wrong?i also dono myself..

2008-07-04T19:43:00.003+08:00

haiix today super sad day cos i got the news tat we only gonna get our pay next wed!!ARH!!!STUPID LTA!!SOB!!todae cca so tired..got fight wif my other cca-mates n scared the juniors..some even cry...omg?i'm so sry..but somehow i find it so hard to say sorry..its juz SORRY?S?O?R?R?Y?but its juz so HARD!!

2008-06-16T18:52:00.002+08:00

todae i got a super good news n tat is i got my new fone!!SOUL!!samsung de!xD!!actully price its 168 but cos i student got $50 off!COOL RITE?!haha!!but it was ytd..i waited 1hr+!!zz but its worth waiting..LOL!haha..the first fone tat i use hardwork to earn money n buy de!very meaningfull!xD

2008-06-13T18:40:00.002+08:00

todae very funny..every1 seem to be very interested in my korkor..wads wrong wif being close?LOL!!haiix..the fone i wanted to buy..U900(SOUL) its only at $200!!!BUT my mum donwan help mii buy..haiix..i wan cry le la..the promo end this sun leh!!!*heart break*...then the stupid LTA only pay us abt 1 week ltr..n by tat time GSS gone!!i was thinking to get some cool n not so x stuff when GSS but then..i can dream on..sobsob!!GOD ah..NS is tough..another man DIES!!!AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!i am so scared!!help!!!

2008-06-10T18:06:00.003+08:00

firstly for not blogging ytd..cos i heard the news of my great grandmum passed away..i am too sad to do anyhing but to rest on bed n cry...2ndly she passed away on sat n no 1 in my family actully told mii till ytd nite..when she passed away i was at fren house..staying..todae my sadness finally reflected on my face..none of my frens could understand how i feel..if i could choose..i would rather not go fren house..not eat sushi..not watch kung fu panda..but saying wad now is pointless..everything is in the past..i cannot change anything nor go back in time..i told MW n Brenda n Kl..their words made no different to how i feel..if any of my frens can see this..from loyang..i am no longer the old jonathan..i wont take anymore jokes..lyk nicks..n stuff..once in awhile can..i have grown up..more mature..no more kidy jon..as for todae..the good news i finally finish work..n reac hed home..bathed..BUT bad news is..when every1 blamed mii when KL did not do her job..wad can i do..i try to explain..none of them listen..i feel tat i am too easy to be builled..i will be strong..rite after i post this..i gave up of frenship..now i juz wish i can faster finish my job..get my pay..n juz keep my distance from them..i am too afraid to be hurt anymore..maybe wad i said since i turned emo is true..i'm fated to have no true frens..frenship hurt mii to badly..once after once..the thing abt my great grandmum..no 1 will understand how i wish..neither any of them will ever untderstand hows the feeling of been tease..been kind n guai..has no repayment..i decided not to be so kind anymore..my life is over..

2008-06-08T23:58:00.001+08:00

opps!now then i remember i forget blog abt i went sakae!!LOL!! i ate abt 20plates..so full..gonna voumit out..soon..LOL!!it was great man..was hoping i can go again..maybe after my pay?LOL!!lets hope tml its a better pay..anyway my blog once again fall into quietness..no 1 tagging..haiix..i alone..once again...

2008-06-08T02:49:00.002+08:00

haiix i am so tired now..i juz came home from a midnight movie..guess wad..its..KUNG FU PANDA!!WOOO IT CAN REALLY KICK SOME BUTT!its talking abt a panda who once dream to be the greatest fighter..but the fact tat he is only a son of a cane?tats sell noddles?LOL!!but soon..there was a day when the greatest master of all..called the master WU GUI!LOL!he said tat he had a feeling tat the most EVIL fighter called...called..erm..nvm..i kinda of forget..LOL!then blahblahblah..the moral of the story its if uue believe then uu are 1..as for the blahblahblah i cannot tell uue all cos if i say everything then no fun already..so if uu wan know wads going on go SUPPORT KUNG FU PANDA!xDDDDDDDDDDDDD
i will stop here..its 2.59am..i am tiring..after a 10km walk..almost DEAD!LOL!!
ok all..good nite..swt dream..miss uu guys...TATA...take care!
Remember tag mii too..LOL!!!

2008-06-05T19:28:00.002+08:00

haiix...sian..time go so fast...todae its the 4th day of my work..so tiring..but who ask mii..greedy..but afterall the pay its good..$600 leh..anyway i had my fun too..my parnter waynn!haha was so funny..he told mii lots of stuff tat he learn from camp!skul camp!!haha!!sometimes he will tell mii some opem tat he learn from camp!its fun n cool..as long uue don think out of the box...LOL!!haiix..sad news is..i gtg le..tiring...after 8hrs of work...byebye..gonna sko..b4 i lyk waynn..eating half way...BANG!heads on the desk!LOL!!

2008-05-30T12:28:00.002+08:00

Emoboii is back..
Once again..
From the world of darkness..
Juz fought wif my korkor juz because of a gym thing..
heres the story:actully i wanted to go gym wif him..meeting him 1.20 at gym near him house at chinese garden..BUT..his skul eneded early..at 12..which i am still slping..cos i actully fell aslp..n he asked mii to not to meet him n go cca cos i wanted to meet him n i SKIPPED cca..but i said its too late..then he say i seem very tired asked mii rest at home..then we contine fight abt weather i want him come my house..at tat point 0f time..i am already very sad n emo..cos it was my first time going gym..n after 2weeks n 5days nvr meeting him..then he say nvm..in the end i said i donwan him come my house then he say ok lor!byebye!then hang my call..
which its lyk..stabbing into my bleeding heart..?
Finally i know..when a person is emo..he got no mood for everything..not hungry..no mood for games..no mood to care abt others..
I don think i gonna show happy on my face anymore..isit a hint from GOD tat i am fated to be alone..?
I nvr dare to say out my feeling anymore..
I been hurt too much...!
I'm too sacred..
I'm alone..
Once again..
EMOBOII IS BACK...

2008-05-29T12:00:00.002+08:00

haiix..i am here..once again..to write out the feelings in my heart...my heart keep telling mi tat frenship n family its not worth trusting anymore..i been hurt..again n again..i am so scared..i donwan to be hurt anymore..maybe todae is the day when i keep my distance from mi n others..walking back to my own dream land..once again..when tat is myself only..no 1 to disture..my world once again falls into darkness..

2008-05-29T01:43:00.002+08:00

todae can say its a happy n sad day for mii as i earn my first pot of gold!!1milDENS in audi..cool rite?haha...vanez says tat if i earn 1mil she gonna jump down a building..vanez if uu cna see this..i wan tell uue..i'm waiting...LOL!!sad news is i acutlly wan go gym wif my korkor this fri but juz now juz fight wif him over some audi problem..its lyk he keep wining n i keep losing so i wan go other place n try..then he say he also donwan play liao..its lyk he have lyk 75 to 95% chance to win n he donwan to play?ii dono wad to sae lor..so in the end we both got very angry n keep saying dono la dono la..then i told him fri see how first lor..time flys really fast..soon it will be 3weeks since i meet him..

2008-05-27T01:47:00.002+08:00

Today my kor introduce my new phone to me its call Samsung SOUL.

Nice name rite?

I got 2 weeks i haven meet him....

I really miss him now hearing that he is sick which breaks my heart....

Todae can be counted another worest day of my life...the time between him and me

is getting lesser and lesser....day by day

I hope he can understand hw i feel ^^

2008-05-23T21:46:00.002+08:00

frenship once hurted mii again...i don think my frenship wif yvonne can heal anymore..todae juz lost another fren..i can see tat soon..i will be alone..once again..

2008-05-23T08:31:00.002+08:00

haiiix..so bored...i felt so alone..even though pplz are sitting around mii..i dono whyy i dono h0w..but the only thing i know is i am in skul at the stupid EM using PC?sad thing..they seem all to to be having fun..LOL..now the EM cher ask us to play a game?vote abt the best student...LOL!!i did not even come for the past 3days how i know sia..maybe isit i used to be alone?has lonelyness blinded my eyes?no words can how i feel now..

2008-05-22T00:51:00.002+08:00

hey guys...as i promised i will post videos..here are some of my fav band..although they are not together anymore..but they are forever in my heart!here are some songs!some my fav too!ENJOY!

That shld be all..haha..enjoy bahhs..all are the best..masterpiece...xDDD

2008-05-20T22:12:00.003+08:00

haiix after looking my cher's blog..i felt sad n emo..once again emoness in my heart rose...i did not know how much it takes to be a teacher...but by reading i felt so sad..how abt her ownself?wont she feel 100times worest?now i found news ways to stop myself from turning emo..its listening to music..it calms mii down..n also cheer mii up..xD i soon will post the video here!!

2008-05-20T21:29:00.002+08:00

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PPLZ WADSUP WADSUP!!!I GOT BAD N GOOD NEWS!!lets talk abt bad news first...i got some subject result back..haiix..history 19/50...SS 13/50..sci 16/50...haiix the rest still dono..bad rite...BUT the GOOD news is...I AM GOING WORK!!16DAYS FOR $693!!HOW GOOD CAN TAT BE?ITIS JUZ TAT GOOD!!ALL UUE NEED TO DO ITS GO TAKE LRT/MRT/BUS JUZ TO SCAN THE E-LINK CARD!!$5.50 PER HR!!MON to fri its 9am tp 5pm..lunch break not included..sun 8 to 11am!sat no need work!!but sad thing lunch break no pay..but afterall the pay its still HIGH!!!$693 leh!!i think of wad i going buy le!!shoes!!BAGS!!HP!!CLOTHES!!DVDS!!!psp..(maybe)?LOL!!

2008-05-18T00:21:00.002+08:00

haiix i am so confused now..i dono wad to do now..my korkor juz told mii to go 0ut take some kung fu training to keep myself fit n pr0tect myself..i know i know..i am fat n ugly..haiix..i dono wad to do now..maybe i shld as he say go slim down?hmm..maybe i shld go..ok..NO more fried food..lyk..mac kfc n stuff..skup n sit up everyday...will tat do?lets go try for 1 week?!set!no supper too!LOL!

2008-05-16T16:02:00.002+08:00

haiix...till now i still cannot understand wads wrong wif myself..sometimes my "frens" ask mii whyy i so emo..in my mind its juz blank..lyk a paper..white n clean..i dono how to go answer them...sometimes i think..wad cause mii to become this..those who know..my life..my story..uue guys shld know why..am i worth pplz's pity..?pplz's love...?pplz's care...?please tell mii...

2008-05-13T20:36:00.002+08:00

haiix...any1 can answer is wad is love..?Does everlasting love truly extist..?If yes..where..?

2008-05-12T22:20:00.003+08:00

Finally i seen this world's true colours..haiix..the wounds in my heart..will nvr heal..i going metal breakd0wn..lonelyness has really surrounded mii..

2008-05-11T15:26:00.001+08:00

i no longer had a home..a place to stay..a place to take cover from rain n storm..i'm homeless..

2008-05-10T18:15:00.001+08:00

haha..great news..i told people to come read my blog..they don even care..so far..even my korkor also dono wads happening..haha..is this means..i alone..?